Bills, Bills, Bills -- Destiny's Child

"Bills, Bills, Bills" by Destiny's Child

Released: 1999

Song sentiment: You are poor, so I don't love you.

Original lyrics in blue
Analyzed lyrics in black

VERSE 1

At first we started out real cool, taking me places I ain't never been. But now, you're getting comfortable, ain't doing those things you did no more. You're slowly making me pay for things your money should be handling. And now you ask to use my car. Drive it all day and don't fill up the tank. And you have the audacity to even come and step to me and ask to hold some money from me until you get your check next week.

The mutual affinity and comfort that marked the onset of our romance seems to have faded. Previously, you regularly introduced me to new places and adventures, but your motivation to impress me has weakened, and increasingly I feel pressured into fulfilling your financial debts. Currently, you request my permission to operate my vehicle, a privilege you abuse with excessive use and disregard for replenishing the gasoline reserve. Moreover, I am displeased with the inconsiderate arrogance you have shown in presuming that I can provide you with short-term loans.

BRIDGE

You trifling, good for nothing type of brother. Silly me, why haven't I found another, a baller. When times get hard, I need someone to help me out, instead of a scrub like you who don't know what a man's about.

You are a foolish, worthless African-American man, and I am also foolish for not seeking a companion who has enjoyed self-made success, a la a professional athlete. When I am faced with dire circumstances, I would rather be dating someone willing to lend assistance, as opposed to a pecuniously deficient moocher whose concept of chivalry is suspect.

CHORUS

Can you pay my bills? Can you pay my telephone bills? Do you pay my automo-bills? If you did then maybe we could chill. I don't think you do, so you and me are through. (Repeat)

Do you possess the necessary capital to cover my periodical financial obligations to creditors, including those to the company that provides my land-line and/or wireless communication services? Do you make, on my behalf, regular payments I incur due to having financed my car? Doing so would increase the chances that we could relax, but I'm under the impression that the contrary is the case; consequently, our relationship is hereby terminated.

VERSE 2

Now you've been maxing out my card. Givin' me bad credit, buyin' gifts with my own ends. Haven't paid the first bill but you're steady heading to the mall, goin' on shopping sprees, perpetrating to your friends that you be ballin'. And then you use my cell phone, calling whoever that you think at home. And then when the bill comes all of a sudden you be acting like you dumb, don't know where none of these calls come from, when your momma's number's here more than once.

Your use of my flat, bank-issued plastic rectangle in your commercial activities is so excessive that its spending power has been destroyed. Your actions damage the numerical score that allegedly reflects my ability to make timely payments on purchases, and you have used my own funds to acquire presents for me, which hardly seems like much of a present at all! Even the first set of purchases you made have not been settled by you, but that fact does not seem to deter you from making more purchases in large indoor retail centers that were popular in the 1980s. This behavior, which in most cases indicates a level of wealth and success, misleads your acquaintances accordingly. Furthermore, you dial numbers on my cordless, handheld telephone and hope to reach any individual that you suspect will be available to speak to you. When the post office delivers the monthly itemization of these communications, you use ignorance to try to shirk your financial responsibilities for these actions; this is unconvincing, however, because the list of digits associated with various parties includes multiple instances of those belonging to the woman whose body you emerged from on your first day of life, and because I never call this person, I am rather suspicious that you are the culprit.

(BRIDGES AND CHORUSES UNTIL THE END)

Man! I Feel Like A Woman -- Shania Twain

"Man! I Feel Like A Woman!" by Shania Twain

Released: 1999

Song Sentiment: Women, such as me, enjoy experiences, behave more freely and take more risks than men do.

Original lyrics in blue
Analyzed lyrics in black

INTRO

Let's go, girls. Come on.

It is time for us to vacate the premises, young women. Exercise haste.
VERSE 1

I'm going out tonight, I'm feeling alright. Gonna let it all hang out. Wanna make some noise, really raise my voice. Yeah, I wanna scream and shout. No inhibitions, make no conditions. Get a little outta line. I ain't gonna act politically correct. I only wanna have a good time. The best thing about bein' a woman is the prerogative to have a little fun and ...

My health is sufficient to warrant leaving home after dusk. I intend to allow my fat to spill over my clothing. I would like to make alarming sounds of panic or glee with no regard for personal restraint, connectivity with my environment or the laws therein. I will offend members of minority groups because my sole desire is my own amusement. The most appealing aspect of my gender is that it affords me the right to partake in recreation, in moderation. Plus ...

CHORUS

Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy, forget I'm a lady. Men's shirts, short skirts. Oh, oh, oh, really go wild yeah, doin' it in style. Oh, oh, oh, get in the action, feel the attraction. Color my hair, do what I dare. Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free yeah, to feel the way I feel. Man! I feel like a woman!

I will: (1) behave in a wholeheartedly insane fashion, misclassifying my gender in the wake of severe cognitive failure, (2) coordinate ill-fitting upper-body attire with provocatively revealing lower-body garments, (3) participate in areas of high movement and sense magnetism, (4) dye the regenerating stringy strands protruding from my cranium and take risks. I would hope that no one would limit my emotional experience or taint its authenticity. Goodness, my emotional state reflects my gender.
VERSE 2

The girls need a break, tonight we're gonna take the chance to get out on the town. We don't need romance, we only wanna dance. We're gonna let our hair hang down. The best thing about being a woman is the prerogative to have a little fun and ...

Young women require reprieve from their activities. After dusk, risk-taking behavior will result in our milling about an urban area. Sensual contact is not among our requirements, although gyrating to music is. We do not intend to wear ponytails. The most appealing aspect of my gender is that it affords me the right to partake in recreation, in moderation. Plus ...

(CHORUS, MORE OR LESS)

Mo' Money, Mo' Problems -- Notorious B.I.G. featuring Puff Daddy and Ma$e

"Mo' Money, Mo' Problems," by Notorious B.I.G. featuring Puff Daddy and Ma$e

Released: 1997

Song sentiment: Wealth causes grief, but we pursue it nevertheless and are thrilled about it.

Original lyrics in blue
Analyzed lyrics in black

INTRO

I'm coming out. Oh. I'm coming. I'm coming out. I'm coming.

I am exiting a structure, making a ceremonial debut and/or revealing myself to be a homosexual.

VERSE 1 (Mase)

Now, who's hot, who not? Tell me who rock, who sell out in the stores. You tell me who flopped, who copped the blue drop. Who jewels got robbed, who's mostly Dolce down to the tube socks? The same ol pimp: Ma$e. You know ain't nuttin changed but my limp. Can't stop till I see my name on a blimp. Guarantee a million sales pullin all the love. You don't believe in Harlem World n---- Double Up. We don't play around, it's a bet lay it down. N----- didn't know me '91, bet they know me now. I'm the young Harlem n---- with the golden sound. Can't no PhD n----- hold me down, Cooter. Schooled me to the game, now I know my duty. Stay humble, stay low, blow like Hootie. True pimp n----- spend no dough on the booty. And then ya yell there go Mase, there go your cutie.

At this time, which individuals have a temperature, and which do not? Inform me as to who performs music and whose recordings are so sought-after that retail outlets lack the inventory to satisfy demand? Enlighten me as to who was unsuccessful and who obtained a small amount of Windex. Which individuals had their precious stones swiped from their possession, and who wears an expensive brand of clothes on both their upper and lower body? I am Ma$e and still supervise prostitutes. I am exactly the same except for the irregular way I hobble. I will discontinue my pursuits once "Ma$e" is written on a nearby dirigible. I promise that my recordings will reach platinum status and that I will be adored. If you are not confident in my debut album, listen to the album I will release in two years. Gamble. Those who were unaware of me six years ago are, I imagine, more likely to be aware of me now. I am from a predominantly African-American neighborhood in northern Manhattan, and the vibrations emitted from my vocal chords are as precious as an expensive yellow rock that sparked massive westward movement in the 1800s. Those who have earned a doctorate cannot defeat me in a wrestling match. I may have just called you a vagina. I have learned the rules of the entertainment industry and am familiar with my obligations. Those include -- ironically, given everything I have just said -- not being arrogant and not drawing attention to myself. I will also expel wind from my mouth like a generic rock band that was popular for about two years in the mid-'90s. Because I genuinely supervise prostitutes I will have no need to employ the services of any of them. You may then consider me your boyfriend.

CHORUS

I don't know what they want from me. It's like the more money we come across, the more problems we see. (Repeat)

Others need to clarify their requests. The situation seems to be that our increasing discovery of capital is correlated with an increase in visible dilemmas.

VERSE 2 (Puff Daddy)

Yeah yeah, ahaha, it's the D to-the A to the D-D-Y. I know you'd rather see me die than to see me fly. I call all the shots, rip all the spots, rock all the rocks, cop all the drops. I know you thinkin' now when all the ballin' stops, n---- never home. Gotta call me on the yacht. Ten years from now we'll still be on top. Yo, I thought I told you that we won't stop. Now whatcha gonna do wit a crew that got money much longer than yours and a team much stronger than yours? Violate me, this'll be your day, we don't play and mess around, be D.O.A., be on your way 'cause it ain't enough time here, ain't enough lime here. For you to shine here, deal with many women but treat dimes fair, and I'm bigger than the city lights down in Times Square. Yeah, yeah yeah.

Yes. I can spell the latter half of one of my many stage names. You would prefer not living to watching me get airborne. I am autonomous, popular in concert, a wearer of jewelry and a procurer of convertibles. The best way to reach me is by telephone while I am sailing. Ma$e, Notorious B.I.G. and I will be the most popular rappers until 2007. I may have already mentioned these long-term goals to you. What are your intentions with us, given our superior wealth and vigor? If you attempt to assault me, we will kill you. So leave, because this venue lacks ample temperal flexibility and citrus fruit. If you stay, your success will depend on the just treatment of both females and 10-cent coins, or perhaps marijuana. Also, my sense of self-worth, analogous to manmade light, exceeds that of the illuminated signs in a five-block area of New York City popular among tourists. Yes.

(CHORUS)

VERSE 3 (Notorious B.I.G.)

Uhh, uhh. B-I-G P-O, P-P-A. No info, for the, D.E.A. Federal agents mad cause I'm flagrant. Tap my cell, and the phone in the basement. My team supreme, stay clean. Triple beam. Lyrical dream, I be that cat you see at all events bent, gats in holsters girls on shoulders. Playboy, I told ya, bring ya might to me, bruise too much, I lose too much. Step on stage the girls boo too much. I guess it's cause you run with lame dudes too much. Me lose my touch, never that. If I did, ain't no problem to get the gat. Where the true players at? Throw your rolees in the sky wave em side to side and keep your hands high while I give your girl the eye, player please. Lyrically, n---- see B.I.G. be flossin jig on the cover of Fortune, Five double oh, here's my phone number, your man ain't got to know, I got the dough, got the flow down pizzat, platinum plus like thizzat, dangerous on trizzack, leave your ass blizzack.

Yes. I can spell one of my many stages names. I refuse to cooperate with the Drug Enforcement Agency. My candid narcotics use frustrates the agency's employees so much that they monitor my communications. However, those with whom I work are sober. A scale used to weigh drugs. Aspirations of being a rap star. I am the one who stars in concerts where the patrons carry guns and lift women up so they can get a better view. I previously said to you, promiscuous man, that any attempts to demonstrate your masculinity will result in tender blue marks on your flesh, and I will suffer excessive losses. And women don't care for your performances because your friends are disabled. My ability to entertain is everlasting; but even if it's not, that's OK because I will just shoot somebody. Pardon, but have you seen honest individuals engaged in a game? Thrust your expensive watches upward and swing them to and fro. While you are distracted with that, I will flirt with your date. I will tell her I am rich and have been featured flaunting my riches on a magazine about those who flaunt their riches, and that I am good at rapping and successful and that she should cheat on you.

(CHORUS)

To Love You More -- Celine Dion

“To Love You More,” by Celine Dion

Released: 1995

Song sentiment: I am convinced that between me and this other girl you’ve been going out with, I’m the one who is more suited to you, and even though we are no longer together and there is no real evidence to support my claim that I’m a better choice of girlfriend for you, I’m convinced that deep down, you agree with me on that point and we should resume our relationship.

Original lyrics in blue
Analyzed lyrics in black

VERSE 1
Take me back into the arms I love. Need me like you did before. Touch me once again, and remember when there was no one that you wanted more.

Return me to the forelimbs with which I am enamored. Require my presence in the same manner as on previous occasions. Place your fingers upon my person one additional time and recall a specific instance in which you desired me with greater intensity than any other person.

VERSE 2
Don't go, you know you’ll break my heart. She won't love you like I will. I'm the one who'll stay when she walks away, and you know I'll be standing here still.

I demand that you stay in this location as you are, in fact, aware that your leaving will cause me to suffer a serious cardiac avulsion. The other woman you are considering leaving me for will not be able to provide a level of affection that is commensurate with what I am prepared to offer you. Only I will remain in this location upon the moment she inevitably makes a retreat, and furthermore, you possess the knowledge that I will remain in an upright position on this very spot.

CHORUS

I'll be waiting for you here inside my heart. I'm the one who wants to love you more. You will see I can give you everything you need. Let me be the one to love you more.

In the future, I will anticipate your return as I remain in this location, which is within the muscular organ that supplies oxygen-rich blood to all of my organs. I am the individual who wishes to experience an emotion of deep affection for you and forge a connection with you that is greater than what you would have with that other woman you’re considering being with. You will find that I am in a position to be able to provide you with all of items represented in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, from the basics of food and shelter up to the ability to achieve self-actualization. Allow me the opportunity to take on the role as the individual who experiences an emotion of deep affection for you and forges a connection with you that is greater than that other woman you’re considering being with.

VERSE 3
See me as if you never knew. Hold me so you can't let go. Just believe in me. I will make you see all the things that your heart needs to know.

Look at me like you possessed zero awareness or understanding of anything at any time, ever. Keep me in your grasp so tightly that it is impossible for you to relax your grip. Simply credit my existence. I am planning to cause your eyes to send signals to your brain that result in your perception of visual stimuli that represent everything that your cardiac muscle requires in terms of knowledge, assuming that it were to possess its own brain.

CHORUS

BRIDGE
And some way all the love that we had can be saved. Whatever it takes we'll find a way.

Believe me, I will make you see all the things that your heart needs to know.


In addition, there exists a path wherein the feelings of deep affection and connection that we possessed in the past may potentially be salvaged. Regardless of the actions that must be performed in order to make the aforementioned happen, we will stumble across this pathway.

Accept what I am saying as the truth, I will cause you to be able to visualize everything that your cardiac muscle requires in terms of knowledge, assuming that it were to possess its own brain.

MODIFIED CHORUS

I’ll be.
Waiting for you, here inside my heart, I’m the one who wants to love you more. Can’t you see I can give you everything you need? Let me be the one to love you more.

I will exist.
Ancitipating your return as I remain in this location, which is within the muscular organ that supplies oxygen-rich blood to all of my organs. I am the individual who wishes to experience an emotion of deep affection for you and forge a connection with you that is greater than that other woman you’re considering being with. Are you unable to comprehend that I am in a position to be able to provide you with all of items represented in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, from the basics of food and shelter up to the ability to achieve self-actualization? Allow me the opportunity to take on the role as the individual who experiences an emotion of deep affection for you and forges a connection with you that is greater than that other woman you’re considering being with.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.


Either an interjection commonly used to express surprise, acknowledgement, or comprehension of new information, or the 15th letter of the alphabet, repeated 84 times.

Shake Your Bon-Bon -- Ricky Martin

"Shake Your Bon-Bon," by Ricky Martin

Released: 2000

Song sentiment: I am a voyeur who would like to see you wiggle your buttocks in various unlikely scenarios.

Original lyrics in blue
Analyzed lyrics in black

VERSE 1

I'm a desperado underneath your window. I see your silhouette. Are you my Juliet? I feel a mad connection with your body. Shake your bon-bon, shake your bon-bon, shake your bon-bon. I wanna be your lover, your only latin lover. We'll go around the world in a day. Don't say no, no. Shake it my way, oh shake your bon-bon, shake your bon-bon, shake your bon-bon.

I am an outlaw of the American frontier, lusting after you as I stare at you through a hole in your wall. Do you love me enough to kill yourself? I know our physical beings are crazily linked. Wiggle your buttocks. I would like to be the only Hispanic person with whom you copulate. We will circumnavigate the globe within 24 hours. You may not refuse. Wiggle your buttocks.

CHORUS

Hola Amiga, hola Amiga. You're my temple of desire. We'll go around the world in a day. Don't say no, no. Shake it my way, oh shake your bon-bon, shake your bon-bon, shake your bon-bon.

Hi, friend. I open your body every week, step inside and worship temptation. We will circumnavigate the globe within 24 hours. You may not refuse. Wiggle your buttocks.

VERSE 2

You're a Mata Hari. I wanna know your story. In the Sahara sun I wanna be the one that's gonna come and take you, make you shake your bon-bon, shake your bon-bon, shake your bon-bon. Up in the Himalayas, c'mon I wanna lay ya. We'll go around the world in a day. Don't say no, no. Shake it my way, oh shake your bon-bon, shake your bon-bon, shake your bon-bon.

You are a dead Dutch dancer whose life I would like to learn about. Amidst the blistering desert heat, I would care to kidnap you and force you to wiggle your buttocks. I want to fornicate with you on the world's highest mountain range, in Asia. We will circumnavigate the globe within 24 hours. You may not refuse. Wiggle your buttocks.

(CHORUS)

Cannonball -- The Breeders

"Cannonball," by The Breeders

Released: 1993

Song sentiment: I'm high?

Original lyrics in blue
Analyzed lyrics in black

VERSE 1A

Spitting in a wishing well. Blown to hell, crash. I'm the last splash. I know you little libertine. I know you're a real coocoo.

After people whisper their hopes into coins and throw them into an underground water source, I project my saliva there. A shift in the wind has sent something to Satan's domain, followed by a collision. After me, there will be no other showy displays. We have met, you diminutive, spiritually unharnessed thinker. I am also aware that you are mentally unsound, truly.

CHORUS

Want you, coocoo, cannonball. Want you, coocoo, cannonball. Hey now in the shade, in the shade. Hey now in the shade, in the shade.

There is a psychologically unhealthy aspect of my desire for a spherical piece of ammunition used hundreds of years ago in ground wars. Currently, I'm shielded from the sun.

VERSE 1B

I know you little libertine. I know you're a cannonball. I'll be your whatever you want. The bong in this reggae song.

We have met, you diminutive, spiritually unharnessed thinker. I'm aware that you were loaded into and then fired from a loud, destructive piece of artillery. Your desires will determine the form I take, even if that form is a marijuana pipe amidst a Jamaican ditty.

(MIXTURES OF PREVIOUS LINES)

Nookie -- Limp Bizkit

"Nookie," by Limp Bizkit

Released: 1999

Song sentiment: My girlfriend cheated on me, which was humiliating, but I only pursued the relationship for sex, so perhaps I have the last laugh.

Original lyrics in blue
Analyzed lyrics in black

VERSE 1

I came into this world as a reject. Look into these eyes, then you'll see the size of the flames. Dwellin' on the past. It's burnin' in my brain. Everyone that burns has to learn from the pain. Hey I think about the day my girlie ran away with my pay, when fellas came to play, now she's stuck with my homeez that she fucked, and i'm just a sucker with a lump in my throat, like a chump, like a chump, etc.

When I was born, no one accepted me. My ocular organs are on fire. I spend undue time pondering history, which is why my brain is also on fire. Everyone who is on fire will be the wiser for it. One subject of my reminiscing is the incident in which the woman I was seeing fled on foot with compensation I had earned in my job. She did this when other men wanted to enjoy her company. This led to sexual intercourse, and now she is beholden to ties with those men that she might prefer not to have. Meanwhile, I feel embarrassed by my naivete, and it is uncomfortable to swallow. I am worthy of mockery for having been so foolish.

VERSE 2

Should i be feelin' bad? Should i be feelin' good? It's kinda sad i'm the laughing stock of the neighborhood. Hey, you would think that I'd be movin' on, but I'm a sucker like I said, fucked up in the head, not. And maybe she just made a mistake and I should give her a break. My heart'll ache either way. Hey, what the hell what you want me to say? I won't lie that I can't deny.

Is it more justifiable for me to be melancholy or cheerful? Unfortunately, those who live on my street guffaw at my misfortune. One might predict that I would not dwell on these issues, but as I have explained, I am naive and mentally disturbed. Or not? Also, it's possible that my girlfriend simply erred and that I should be less hard on her. Regardless, I will have cardiac discomfort. I'm unclear as to which words you would prefer I utter. It is not in my nature to deceive or mislead.

CHORUS

I did it all for the nookie, the nookie, so you can take that cookie and stick it up your ***, stick it up your *** stick it up your ***, stick it up your ... (Repeat)

My actions were motivated by sex, by sex, so you have my permission to insert a popular baked treat into your sphincter.

VERSE 3

Why did it take so long? Why did I wait so long, huh, to figure it out? But I didn't, and I'm the only one underneath the sun who didn't get it. I can't believe that I could be decieved by my so-called girl, but in reality had a hidden agenda. She put my tender heart in a blender and still I surrendered, like a chump, like a chump, etc.

What caused the excessive duration of time, and my deliberation in bringing my analysis to some fruitful conclusion? Actually, though, every human besides me reached that conclusion. It is remarkable that my girlfriend -- though that might not be the best title for her, given her lack of loyalty -- successfully lied to me. But someone was motivated by secret goals. She placed my main circulatory organ into a kitchen appliance that purees food. After that, my corpse admitted defeat, as if I were a naive person deserving of mockery.

(CHORUS)

BRIDGE

I'm only human. It's so easy for your friends to give you their advice. They'll tell you just let it go. It's easier said than done. I appreciate it, I do, but just leave me alone. Leave me alone. Just leave me alone. And nothing's gonna change 'cause you can go away, and I'm just gonna stay here and always be the same. I'm just gonna stay.

My species is none other than homo sapien. It takes little effort for one's comrades to offer guidance and to suggest releasing one's grip, although doing so is more challenging to act upon than it is to utter. I am thankful for such suggestions, but please stop bothering me. Stop bothering me. Simply stop bothering me. I am certain that conditions will not be altered because you are free to leave, while I intend never to change. I am simply going to remain where I am.

(CHORUS)

London Bridge -- Fergie

"London Bridge," by Fergie

Released: 2006

Song sentiment: I own some unstable real estate overseas, and I love to party.

Original lyrics in blue
Analyzed lyrics in black

INTRO

Oh shit (oh shit). Oh shit (oh shit). Oh shit (oh shit). Are you ready for this? Oh shit (oh shit). Ohhhhh. It’s me, Fergie. The Pimp! Paulo! Fergie Ferg, what's up, baby?

Jeepers!! Are you prepared? I am the woman from Black Eyed Peas. The man who manages prostitutes! Some random guy! How are you, Fergie?

VERSE 1

When I come to the club, step aside. Part the seas, don’t be havin' me in the line. V.I.P., ‘cause you know I gotta shine. I’m Fergie Ferg, and me love you long time. All my girls get down on the floor, back to back, drop it down real low. I’m such a lady, but I’m dancing like a ho, ‘cause you know I don’t give a fuck, so here we go!

The crowd standing in my way at the discotheque should split in half and create a path for me because I am a very important person with oily skin, and I am vaguely racist toward Asians. My female friends squat and don't face each other while I, despite my good breeding, gyrate like a harlot. The consequences or implications of this are of no concern to me, so let's simply ignore them.

CHORUS

How come everytime you come around, my London, London bridge, wanna go down like, London, London, London, wanna go down like, London, London, London, we goin’ down like… (Repeat)

Why do your visits make a structure providing passage over the River Thames -- which I own -- desire its own collapse and, subsequently, prompt us to collapse?

VERSE 2

Now as the drinks start pouring, and my speech start slurring, everybody start looking real good. The Grey Goose got your girl feeling loose. Now I’m wishin’ that I didn’t wear these shoes. (I hate heels) It’s like everytime I get up on a dude, paparazzi put my business in the news. And I’m like, "Get up out my face!" (oh shit) before I turn around and spray your ass with mace. (oh shit). My lips make you wanna have a taste. (oh shit) You got that? I got the bass.

Alcohol, particularly vodka, inhibits my ability to enunciate, makes others appear more attractive and enhances my desire for both sex and barefootedness. Seemingly, each time I engage in public displays of affection with men, freelance journalists whose job is to photograph public displays of affection do their job; then, those who hired those photographers do their job and publish the photographs. This is an outrage. So I order them to leave, then I threaten to use tear gas on their buttocks, then I make kissy faces at them, and then I reveal that I have a guitar.

(CHORUS)

BRIDGE

Me like a bullet type, you know they comin' right. Fergie love em' long time. My girls support right? (Repeat)

I am similar to ammunition for which you are prepared, and, again, I am vaguely racist toward Asians.

VERSE 3

When I come to the club, step aside. Pop the seats, don’t be hatin' me in the line. V.I.P., ‘cause you know I gotta shine. I’m Fergie Ferg, give me love you long time. All my girls get down on the floor. Back to back, drop it down real low. I’m such a lady, but I’m dancing like a ho, ‘Cause you know I don’t give a fuck, so here we go!

Review my earlier observations about the discotheque, and also take a needle and make the inflatable chairs explode without disliking me whilst in the queue.

(CHORUS)

Oops!... I Did It Again -- Britney Spears

"Oops!... I Did It Again," by Britney Spears

Released: 2000

Song sentiment: I am insensitive. Sorry.

Original lyrics in blue
Analyzed lyrics in black

INTRO

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yes, many times over.

VERSE 1

I think I did it again. I made you believe. We're more than just friends. Oh, baby. It might seem like a crush, but it doesn't mean that I'm serious. 'cause to lose all my senses... That is just so typically me. Oh, baby, baby.

My belief is that I repeated my misleading behavior that prompted you to see our relationship as more serious and romantic than I believe it is. It might appear that certain feelings between us are juvenile expressions of lust; however, don't use that to justify taking literally what I say and do. It is not out of the ordinary for me to become a deaf, blind mute who can't taste or touch.

CHORUS

Oops!... I did it again. I played with your heart. Got lost in the game. Oh, baby; baby. Oops!... You think I'm in love. That I'm sent from above... I'm not that innocent.

Drat. This was not the first time I engaged in a fun, competitive activity with the most pivotal organ in your circulatory system and then could not find my way out of the activity. Curses. Your view is that my feelings of affection are deep and that God shipped me here, but I am not morally pure enough for that to be the case.

VERSE 2

You see, my problem is this: I'm dreaming away; wishing that heroes, they truly exist. I cry watching the days. Can't you see I'm a fool in so many ways? But to lose all my senses... That is just so typically me. Baby, oh.

The personal issue with which I am grappling is that I am having thoughts while unconscious and hoping that some individuals indeed perform selfless acts for others. An NBC daytime soap opera makes me weep. Is it not self-evident that I am stupid on many levels? Again, though, it would not be unprecedented for me to become a deaf, blind mute who can't taste or touch.

(CHORUS)

SPOKEN BRIDGE

"All aboard!" "Britney, before you go, there's something I want you to have." "Oh, it's beautiful! But wait a minute, isn't this... ?" "Yeah, yes, it is." "But I thought the old lady dropped it into the ocean in the end..." "Well, baby, I went down and got it for ya." "Aw, you shouldn't have."

"Get on this train or boat." "Britney, here is the fictional diamond from the popular film Titanic; I acquired it from the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean." "You ought not to have completed that task."

SUNG BRIDGE

Oops! I did it again to your heart. Got lost in this game; oh, baby. Oops! You think that I'm sent from above... I'm not that innocent.

Drat. I repeated actions that had consequences on the organ that pumps your blood. I could not navigate my way through this enjoyable activity. Curses. You believe I fell from the sky, but I sin more than you know.

(CHORUS TWICE)

Here Comes the Hotstepper -- Ini Kamoze

"Here Comes the Hotstepper," by Ini Kamoze
Released: 1994
Song sentiment: Someone with abnormally warm feet is approaching, so here's a bunch of disconnected, bizarre observations.
Original lyrics in blue
Analyzed lyrics in black
HOOK

Hit it. Nah, na na na nah, na na na nah, na na nah, na na nah, na na na nah.
Smack that. I taunt you.
CHORUS

Here comes the hotstepper, murderer. I’m the lyrical gangster, murderer. Pick up the crew in-a de area, murderer. Still love you like that, murderer.
Attention, convicted killer: Approaching is someone with very warm feet. I am part of a suspicious and violent group of writers. Hit on the nearby rowing team. I continue to have deep feelings of affection for you.

VERSE 1
No, no, we don’t die. Yes, we multiply. Anyone test will hear the fat lady sing. Act like you know, Rico. I know what Bo don’t know. Touch them up and go, uh-oh. Ch-ch-chang-chang.
Despite what you may think, we are immortal and, in fact, spawn identical clones. A caroling obese woman will entertain individuals who perform experiments. Hide your ignorance, Rico. I am aware of all the facts with which Bo is not familiar. Apply small amounts of makeup to their faces, then indicate you have made a mistake, and a cash register will sound.

CHORUS 2
Here comes the hotstepper, murderer. I’m the lyrical gangster, murderer. Excuse me mister officer, murderer. Still love you like that, murderer.
Convicted killer: Please revisit my earlier observations, and pardon my ill manners, male law enforcement official.

VERSE 2
Extraordinary. Juice like a strawberry. Money to burn baby, all of the time. Cut to fade is me. Fade to cut is she. Come juggle with me, I say every time.
Significantly above average. Sweet, natural liquid like a bite-sized red fruit. Cash to which we constantly set fire. I am a video editing technique. She is a late '80s hairstyle. I relentlessly suggest we perform a circus act.

CHORUS 3
Here comes the hotstepper, murderer. I’m the lyrical gangster, murderer. Dial emergency number, murderer. Still love you like that, murderer.
Convicted killer: Refer to what I stated before. And call 911.

(HOOK)

VERSE 3
Start like a jackrabbit. Finish in front of it. On the night is jack, that’s it, understand. I’m the daddy of the mack daddy. His are left in gold, maybe. Ain’t no homey gonna play me, top celebrity man.
Begin as if you are a wild hare, and end while standing before something. A slice of cheese or a construction tool, but nothing else, is on top of the evening; do you follow me? My son was in Kris Kross. A man's belongings may have been abandoned in a naturally occurring, highly valuable metallic element. Not one clown played by Damon Wayans is going to perform a musical number using my body, because I am more famous than everyone.

(CHORUS 2)

VERSE 4
No, no, we don’t die. Yes, we multiply. Anyone test will hear the fat lady sing. Act like you know, “G” go. I know what Bo don’t know. Touch them up and go, uh-oh. Ch-ch-chang-chang.

I've explained most of this. Also, in addition to Rico, the seventh letter of the alphabet should hide his ignorance, then leave.

(HOOK)

CHORUS 4
Here comes the hotstepper, murderer. I’m the lyrical gangster, murderer. Big up all crew bow ya, murderer. Still love you like that, murderer.
Please refer to my earlier statements. Also, I think my friends are overweight.

(OUTRO)

Waterfalls -- TLC

"Waterfalls," by TLC

Released: 1995

Song sentiment: Do not take risks.

Original lyrics in blue
Analyzed lyrics in black

VERSE 1

A lonely mother gazing out of the window, staring at a son that she just can't touch. If at any time he's in a jam she'll be by his side, but he doesn't realize he hurts her so much. But all the praying just ain't helping at all 'cause he can't seem to keep his self out of trouble. So he goes out and he makes his money the best way he knows how, another body laying cold in the gutter. Listen to me.

A woman who depends on others' companionship but lacks it gazes through a hole in a wall and looks squarely at the fellow she bore. He is farther away from her than her arm can stretch. Were he to land in a predicament, she would place her body next to his, however he is ignorant of the causal relationship between his behavior and her pain. Repeatedly directing telepathic wishes toward a supreme being has been entirely ineffective, evidenced in his inability to follow societal rules. Therefore, he participates in activities that he believes most efficiently create value, resulting in at least two chilly corpses resting on the side of the road where rain flows. Pay attention to what I say.

CHORUS

Don't go chasing waterfalls. Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to. I know that you're gonna have it your way or nothing at all, but I think you're moving too fast.

Refrain from engaging in a foot pursuit of stationary, naturally occurring constant flows of water cascading off the sides of hardened mineral formations. Instead, I politely encourage you to glue yourself to two other bodies of water with which you are more accustomed: wide flows on the ground, and stagnant large pools at which people fish. I am aware that you are unyielding about having circumstances meet your preferences. However, your velocity is excessive, in my opinion.

VERSE 2

Little precious has a natural obsession for temptation, but he just can't see. She gives him loving that his body can't handle, but all he can say is "baby it's good to me." One day he goes and takes a glimpse in the mirror, but he doesn't recognize his own face. His health is fading and he doesn't know why. Three letters took him to his final resting place. Y'all don't hear me.

A small child deals with an innate, unhealthy fixation on desire for that which may be unhealthy. However, he is blind. A woman provides him with physical affection that he enjoys, and his reply is simply to flatter her. On one occasion, he quickly notices his reflection in a shiny object designed for looking at oneself. However, the human image he sees does not appear to resemble the way he recalls looking. He is becoming increasingly ill but does not know the cause. He died of HIV. I am not loud enough.

(CHORUS)

RAP

I seen a rainbow yesterday. But too many storms have come and gone, leaving a trace of not one God-given ray. Is it because my life is ten shades of grey, I pray all ten fade away, seldom praise Him for the sunny days. And like His promise is true, only my faith can undo the many chances I blew to bring my life to anew. Clear blue and unconditional skies have dried the tears from my eyes, no more lonely cries. My only bleedin' hope is for the folk who can't cope with such an endurin' pain that it keeps 'em in the pouring rain. Who's to blame for shootin' caine into you're own vein? What a shame, you shoot and aim for someone else's brain. You claim to be insane and name this day in time for fallin' prey to crime. I say the system got you victim to your own mind. Dreams are hopeless aspirations in hopes of comin' true. Believe in yourself. The rest is up to me and you.

My eyes recently detected a semicircular band of colors in the sky. However, abundant bouts of violent precipitation have transpired, resulting in no sunshine. Is the weather a result of a decuplet of hue-less levels of darkness? I send psychic requests to God that this gray-level spectrum will slowly vanish. I rarely compliment God for the cloudless days that I just said do not happen. In the same way that the omniscient superpower makes a valid personal guarantee, my unverifiable belief system is the sole means by which I can alter the repurcussions of missed opportunities to improve myself. Cloudless, caveat-free atmospheres caused the salty liquid borne from my tear ducts to evaporate; I shall never again weep due to unpleasant feelings of solitude. I have hopes for those who cannot handle the type of sustained discomfort that prevents them from finding shelter amidst heavy precipitation. Whose fault is it that you injected cocaine into your bloodstream? It is too bad that you pointed a gun at an individual's head and fired. You contend that you are psychologically unhealthy and identify this date as the one on which criminal activity preyed upon you. In my opinion, the methods by which our justice system functions have reduced the amount of responsibility you take for yourself. The images you conjure while sleeping are goals that are terribly unlikely to be met, but ones that you nevertheless strive toward. Have confidence. Beyond that, all other circumstances are under our direct control.

(CHORUS)

Ms. New Booty -- Bubba Sparxxx featuring the Ying Yang Twins

"Ms. New Booty," by Bubba Sparxxx featuring the Ying Yang Twins

Released: 2006

Song sentiment: I've met a woman who has an appealing derriere.

Original lyrics in blue
Analyzed lyrics in black

(CHORUS)

Booty, booty, booty, booty, rockin' everywhere (thrice). Rockin' everywhere (twice). I found you, Ms. New Booty. Get it together and bring it back to me. Hit the playa's club for about a month or two. Put his hand on it; then see what it do (twice). Get it ripe, get it right, get it tight (four times).

Rear ends are swaying side to side wherever I look. There you are, woman whose derriere is unfamiliar to me. Organize yourself and return your buttocks. Spend 30 to 60 days in a night club that specializes in exotic dance. Place a gentleman's palm on your fanny and observe how it behaves. Squeeze posteriors at the peak of their juiciness and flavor, obtain them in accordance with social mores, and grip them firmly.

VERSE 1

Girl I don't need you, but you need me. Take it off, let if flop, shake it freely. And I don't tell stories, I let ‘em tell theyself. And you ain't gotta sell sex, girl, it sell itself, like nothing else. Yeah I'm a country boy, but that big city bottom fill me up with joy. Ain't life grand? Live it up daddy. Here go da whisper song, baby this is us, ready? Put it on me, enthusiastically. Whatever it is that you do, you do it admirably. And I ain't choose it, that thang chose me. It's Bubba K. and Ying Yang, all the way in this thang. Yo!

The dynamics of our relationship are imbalanced. Remove your pants, relax your glutes and gyrate uninhibitedly. I tend not to narrate; I instead allow tales to somehow manifest themselves without my involvement. It is unnecessary to market intercourse, woman, because consumers will purchase intercourse regardless of advertising expenditure, moreso than any other good or service. Indeed, I am from a rural American area, but I exult in a tookus attached to a woman raised in a densely populated region. Isn't not being dead delightful? Enjoy it, father. Are you prepared for us to segue into a different hip-hop single? Eagerly place an object on my body. Your actions confuse me, but I can detect the high quality of those actions. I did not select something; that something selected me instead. The artists on this song are myself and the Ying Yang Twins, and we are dedicated to providing vocals on this track. Hello.

(CHORUS)

VERSE 2

Quarter to twelve and we just getting in. Bubba gonna make ya spark wit da Ying Yang Twins. Sippin' on Patron, blong blong blong. Shawty in a thong, whom whom whom. Get to jiggling, mother*** wiggling. Get that thang shakin', like she frost bit shivering. Be delivering, all type of flashes, cashes. Got these asses shaking that molasses. Shh, let me whisper in your ear. Get yourself together go and buy some new gear. Do something with your hair den hit da club. Shake ya ass and da playas gonna show some love. Do that move ya did, just a minute ago. I guarantee you'll make all da dough. So gon' do ya thing baby, work what chu got. To get what you want. Make that money, don't let it make you.

We are returning home at 11:45. Bubba Sparxxx will force you to smoke marijuana with us. We are loudly swallowing costly tequila. A short woman is wearing a revealing bathing suit or piece of lingerie. She commences shaking the fat on her bottom, as if her body were reacting to very low temperatures. She brings to us the light that makes it possible to photograph in the dark and various legal tenders. We have prompted women to swing their hips as slowly as a highly viscous sugary syrup. Be quiet, and permit me to speak softly near your hearing organ. Organize your life and purchase clothing, get professionally groomed and visit a discotheque. Criminals will adore you if you move your tailbone back and forth quickly; I suggest you copy the gesture you performed for me 60 seconds ago. I promise that you will receive everyone's cash. Therefore, engage in your preferred activities, using your distinct advantages to obtain that which pleases you. Earn funds; do not let the funds determine your worth.

(CHORUS)

VERSE 3

Hi there, how are things? I once was a breast man, now it seems ever since I had the pleasure of getting you together, your chest is just whatever, I found the buried treasure. Yes ma'am, here's the plan. Meet me over yonder, okay? Don't play. I'll bring the whoop whoop, you bring your cookbook. And I'ma fix that stuff up, everything is good good.

Greetings. How are you? I used to become particularly aroused by boobs, but that preference was altered when I happily helped you organize yourself. Now I do not especially care about your chest. I dug and discovered something of greater value. Let me reveal the itinerary: We will reconvene elsewhere. Be serious. I will have some enthusiastic noises on hand, and I urge you to have your copy of The Joy of Cooking in tow. Then I will make repairs, leading to a satisfying resolution.

(CHORUS)

Colors of the Wind -- Vanessa Williams

"Colors of the Wind," by Vanessa Williams

Released: 1995

Song sentiment: Focusing your attention on nature will beget bizarre discoveries.

Original lyrics in blue
Analyzed lyrics in black

VERSE 1

You think you own whatever land you land on. The earth is just a dead thing you can claim. But I know every rock and tree and creature has a life, has a spirit, has a name. You think the only people who are people are the people who look and think like you, but if you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew you never knew.

You are under the impression that property rights associated with any given geographic area are legally transferred to you in the event that your ship docks there, and that the soil and other natural features of the vicinity are nonliving entities of which you can gain ownership via declaration. However, I understand that all the solid globs of minerals, perennial woody plants and wild beasts are not dead, have an undetectable ghost-like self-extension and are referred to by a moniker. You believe that in order to be designated as a homo sapien, a primate must physically and cognitively resemble you. And, yet, if you were to observe foot-shaped tracks left by someone you've never had the pleasure of meeting, then step into those outlines one at a time, you would acquire knowledge that you did not previously realize you lacked.

CHORUS 1

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon or asked the grinning bobcat why he grins? Can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? Can you paint with all the colors of the wind? Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?

At any point in the past, have your ears detected vibrations emanating from a wailing wild canine whose cranium is cocked toward this planet's sole natural satellite during a time of periodically abnormal and perhaps harvest-related color? Or have you posed questions to a dangerous feline regarding the source of his or her amusement? Are you capable of utilizing your vocal talents to accompany massive rock structures in a musical number? And might you have the skills necessary to harness the shifting, flowing air around you and repurpose it as the medium for a piece of art of many tones and hues? Hmm?

VERSE 2

Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest. Come taste the sunsweet berries of the earth. Come roll in all the riches all around you and for once never wonder what they're worth. The rainstorm and the river are my brothers. The heron and the otter are my friends. And we are all connected to each other in a circle, in a hoop that never ends.

Join me as I sprint through difficult-to-detect pathways in a grouping of trees. Then let's consume small, potentially poisonous wild fruits. I encourage you to wriggle in dirt, plants and perhaps animal feces without considering their economic value in the marketplace. My parents had two other children -- heavy precipitation accompanied by cacophonous bangs and flashes of light, and a large, flowing pathway of clear liquid where we do laundry; both of these offspring are men. I am fondly acquainted with a bird that some confuse with an egret, and also with a weasel-like pest. My siblings, companions and I are physically linked, forming an infinitely large, perfectly round shape.

CHORUS 2

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon or let the eagle tell you where he's been? Can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? Can you paint with all the colors of the wind? Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?

Revisit my previous queries about your activities within nature, but substitute the one about the bobcat for this one: Have you listened to a screaming flying animal and attempted to understand the list of locations he has previously visited?

BRIDGE

How high does the sycamore grow? If you cut it down, then you'll never know.

To what maximum altitude does a grand fig tree extend? You will never successfully answer this question if you slice through its trunk and push it over before it has had the opportunity to reach maturity.

CHORUS 3

And you'll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon. Oh, whether we are white or copper skin, we need to sing with all the voices of the mountain, we need to paint with all the colors of the wind.

Moreover, there will never be a time that your ears will detect the aforementioned sobbing canine. Regardless of our skin pigmentation, it is imperative that we belt out notes alongside the giant triangular crags. And we are required to transform moving air into a liquid with various pigments that we can use to compose an illustration.

OUTRO

You can own the earth and still all you'll own is earth until you can paint with all the colors of the wind.

Despite what I said earlier about not being able to own soil, you in fact can, but realize that the only asset in your possession will be the soil itself, at least until you figure out how to turn the moving air into a goo out of which you can create a work of art.

Before He Cheats -- Carrie Underwood

"Before He Cheats," by Carrie Underwood

Released: 2006

Song sentiment: Because my boyfriend may be flirting with a woman at a bar, I destroyed his car.

Original lyrics in blue
Analyzed lyrics in black

VERSE 1

Right now he's probably slow dancing with a bleached-blond tramp, and she's probably getting frisky. Right now, he's probably buying her some fruity little drink 'cause she can't shoot whiskey. Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool stick, showing her how to shoot a combo. And he don't know ...

At this moment, it is probable that these three events are transpiring simultaneously at a nearby bar: (1) My boyfriend has his arms around a promiscuous woman with chemically treated, bright-yellow follicles, and they are swaying to and fro as a down-tempo song plays; she may be making a sexual advance toward him. (2) He is purchasing for her a cocktail sweetened with fleshy plant parts because she doesn't care for the taste and strength of straight hard liquor. (3) He is teaching her a billiard trick. All the while, he is unaware ...

CHORUS

I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped-up 4-wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seat. I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights, slashed a hole in all 4 tires. Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

Using the sharp edge of a small metal stick that unlocks a door, I left unsightly scrapes in the paint of my boyfriend's automobile, which he upgraded with features that don't come standard; the vehicle has good control on the road due to all four wheels receiving torque from the engine concurrently. I also scraped "Carrie Underwood" into the cowhide interior. Wielding a baseball bat, I smashed both of the front-facing glass coverings and bulbs that illuminate the road at night. And with sharp object in hand, I cut slits in the rubber air-filled circles around the wheels. It's possible that if he engages in infidelity in the future, he will use his cognitive abilities prior to his indiscretion.

VERSE 2

Right now, she's probably up singing some white-trash version of Shania karaoke. Right now, she's probably saying, "I'm drunk," and he's a thinking that he's gonna get lucky. Right now, he's probably dabbing on 3 dollars worth of that bathroom Polo. Oh and he don't know ...

At this moment, it is probable that these three events are transpiring simultaneously at a nearby bar: (1) The aforementioned falsely blond lady is enjoying karaoke and has selected a country song made famous by renowned Canadian crooner Shania Twain, but her rendition unfortunately lacks the sophistication of the original. (2) The blond woman is declaring that she has consumed too much alcohol, leading my boyfriend to believe he has a better chance of being intimate with her this evening. (3) My boyfriend is applying cologne in the restroom. All the while, he is unaware ...

(CHORUS)

BRIDGE

I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl, 'cause the next time that he cheats, oh, you know it won't be on me! No, not on me.

My actions may have made life easier for the woman my boyfriend courts after me because when he is inevitably unfaithful to her, I will not be in a relationship with him, and consequently it will not be me whose trust he is betraying. (Why this makes her life easier, I am not certain ... perhaps simply because she needn't bother re-vandalizing his automobile? Unclear.)

(CHORUS)

OMG -- Usher featuring will.i.am

"OMG," by Usher featuring will.i.am

Released: 2010

Song sentiment: I'm so impressed by your sex appeal that I wonder whether our connection is true love; I hope you let me have sex with you in various ways.

Original lyrics in blue
Analyzed lyrics in black

INTRODUCTORY BANTER

Oh my gosh. Baby let me. I did it again, so I’m gonna let the beat drop. Oh my gosh.

Heavens to Betsy! Allow me. I repeated myself; therefore, I intend to press play on a drum machine. Good gracious!

CHORUS
Baby let me love you down. There’s so many ways to love ya. Baby I can break you down. There’s so many ways to love ya. Got me like, oh my gosh, I’m so in love, I found you finally. You make me want to say, "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh my gosh." You make me want to say, "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh."

Allow me, if you would, to have sex with you. There are myriad sexual activities in which we could engage. I am capable of either physically hacking you to pieces, lowering your guard and/or reducing you to your most basic elements. Again, there are several positions we could adopt while fornicating. Having you nearby makes me exclaim my deepest possible romantic feelings, an exciting phenomenon in light of how long I have been looking for you. Your existence motivates me to want to repeat the 15th letter of the alphabet. Goodness!

VERSE 1

I fell in love with shawty when I seen her on the dance floor. She was dancing sexy, pop, pop, popping, dropping, dropping low. Never ever has a lady hit me on the first sight. This was something special; this was just like dynamite. Honey got a booty like pow, pow, pow.
Honey got some boobies like wow, oh wow. Girl you know I’m loving your, loving your style
Check, check, check, check, check, checking you out like, Ooh (oooh) she got it all. Sexy from her head to the toes, and I want it all, it all, it all.

I succumbed to the deepest possible feelings of affection for a short person after I spotted her in the colorfully lit area of a discotheque where patrons customarily gyrate rhythmically to music. She was moving her body in a sexually suggestive fashion, making jerking motions with her bones and squatting so that her rear end was very close to the floor. A woman has never punched me the first time I saw her. Seeing this person was a unique experience, akin to an explosive stick of nitroglycerin. This woman has a buttocks similar to the sounds Batman makes when he beats up a villain. She also has very impressive mammaries. Now I will begin addressing her directly, instead of referring to her in third-person: Woman, I have a great deal of affection for your fashion sense and general manner of behaving; that is why I'm staring at your physical features and stuttering. You seem to have every physical aspect that arouses my interest, and there appears to be no part of your body I find undesirable.

(CHORUS)

VERSE 2

Feel so hot for honey out of all the girls up in this club. This one got me whipped, just off one look, yep I fell in love. This one something special, this one just like dynamite, out of sight. Fell in love with honey like my, oh my. Honey looking wonderful; fly, so fly. Honey like a supermodel; my, oh my. Baby how you do that, make a grown man cry? Ooh (oooh) baby, you got it all. Sexy from her head to the toes. And I want it all, it all, it all.

The woman I've been discussing gives me a fever, moreso than any other woman who happens to be at this particular nightclub on this specific evening. After looking at her once, the woman of whom I am fond quickly began bossing me around in an emasculating way, and I could not adore her more. Again, this circumstance of our meeting was unusual and one that I cherish, like a volatile weapon that is too far away for me to see. I hope it's become clear by now that I couldn't have a higher opinion of this woman. Lord! She's exceedingly attractive and every bit as appealing as the dancers from In Living Color. She resembles a woman who gets paid handsomely and achieves worldwide fame for modeling clothes in magazines and in runway shows. Goodness! Now I will address her directly: How did you acquire power over an adult male's tear ducts? You possess every positive quality that matters to me and have sexually stimulating qualities all over body. I would care to have access to each of those body parts.

(CHORUS)

(NONSENSE)

TiK ToK -- Ke$ha

"TiK ToK," by Ke$ha

Released: 2009

Song sentiment: I enjoy nightlife.

Original lyrics in blue
Analyzed lyrics in black

VERSE 1

Wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy (Hey, what up girl?). Grab my glasses, I'm out the door - I'm gonna hit this city (Let's go!). Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack 'cause when I leave for the night, I ain't coming back. I'm talking - pedicure on our toes, toes, trying on all our clothes, clothes, boys blowing up our phones, phones. Drop-topping, playing our favorite CDs, pulling up to the parties, trying to get a little bit tipsy.

When I regain consciousness early in the day, I feel like a famous 40-year-old African-American hip-hop mogul from California. Then I acquire my spectacles and leave so I can enjoy the urban life. Before that, however, I engage in an unconventional form of oral hygiene whereby I use an unnecessarily large volume of whiskey in lieu of toothpaste, and perhaps even in lieu of a toothbrush, and I do this is because I have no intention of returning to the place I slept last night. Let me elaborate on my routine. I file and paint my toenails twice, don every piece of attire I own twice and am then inundated with telephone calls from men. In the car, I retract the roof, listen to some of my preferred music on compact disc and arrive at a social engagement in the hopes of becoming somewhat inebriated.

CHORUS

Don't stop, make it pop, DJ, blow my speakers up. Tonight, I'mma fight 'til we see the sunlight. Tick, tock, on the clock, but the party don't stop, no. Woah, oh, oh, oh. Woah, oh, oh, oh. (Repeat)

Attention, disc jockey: Continue doing your job, and play the music so loudly that the equipment gets damaged. My plan this evening is to engage in a physical brawl for several hours, until dawn. Time goes by, and this social engagement does not end.

VERSE 2

Ain't got a care in world, but got plenty of beer. Ain't got no money in my pocket, but I'm already here! And now the dudes are lining up 'cause they hear we got swagger, but we kick 'em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger. I'm talking about everybody getting crunk, crunk, boys trying to touch my junk, junk, gonna smack him if he getting too drunk, drunk. Now, now, we goin' til they kick us out, out, or the police shut us down, down, police shut us down, down, po-po shut us.

I am not worried about anything, but -- or, perhaps, because -- I have enough brewed alcoholic beverage to satisfy my needs. I have no cash on hand, but that did not prevent me from attending this soiree, and since being admitted I realize there is no need for cash. Men who believe that my friends and I are confident are forming a queue to speak with us, but we reject their advances unless they look like a haggard British rock singer. Let me elaborate about the environment at this gathering, please: All the attendees are having a nice time and enjoying the music, men are attempting to feel my breasts and buttocks, and if these men consume too much alcohol, I intend to hit them. My friends and I plan to stay here until an authority figure forces us to leave, or until police officers arrive and bring an end to our antics.

(CHORUS)

BRIDGE

DJ, you build me up, you break me down. My heart, it pounds, yeah, you got me. With my hands up, you got me now, you got that sound, yeah, you got me. (Repeat) Now the party don't start 'til I walk in.

Disc jockey: By playing music, you give me energy and confidence, but you also dismantle my inhibitions and, perhaps, better judgment. This causes my adrenaline to race and makes me feel as though you have power over me. I consequently lift my hands in the air, reaffirming my helplessness amidst the loud music that you are playing. If I weren't here, nobody would be enjoying themselves.

(CHORUS)

My Chick Bad -- Ludacris and Nicki Minaj

"My Chick Bad," by Ludacris featuring Nicki Minaj

Released: 2010

Song sentiment: My girlfriend violates conventional social behavior to a greater degree than your girlfriend does, and I am pleased.

Original lyrics in blue
Analyzed lyrics in black

CHORUS
My, chick bad, my chick hood; My chick do stuff that yo' chick wish she could. My, my chick bad, my chick hood; My chick do stuff that yo' chick wish she could. My, my chick bad, badder than yours. My, my chick bad, badder than yours. My, my, my chick bad, badder than yours. My, my chick bad, badder than yours.

My girlfriend misbehaves, hails from a lower-income area and performs various tasks that your girlfriend would like to perform but cannot. My girlfriend misbehaves, moreso than yours does.

VERSE 1 (Ludacris)

Listen! I'm sayin' my chick bad, my chick hood. My chick do stuff that yo' chick wish she could. My chick bad, badder than yours. My chick do stuff that I can't even put in words. Her swagga don't stop, her body won't quit, so fool pipe down; you ain't talkin' 'bout shit. My chick bad: tell me if you seen her; she always bring the racket like Venus & Serena. All white top, all white built and all white jeans, body lookin' like milk. No time for games; she's full-grown. My chick bad; tell your chick to go home!

Pay attention, please. I'm telling you that my girlfriend misbehaves, hails from a lower-income area and performs tasks that your girlfriend would like to perform but cannot. My girlfriend misbehaves moreso than yours does, and the activities in which she participates defy articulation. She consistently conveys confidence in her walk and has an attractive physique that will not give way to age-related deterioration, so you should lower your voice, because what you're saying is as meaningful as excrement. My girlfriend misbehaves; let me know if you locate her, please. She raises a fuss in the same way that professional athletes Venus and Serena Williams do on the tennis court. She wears so much white attire that she resembles bovine lactate. She is too busy to participate in competitive childlike activities and has reached her maximum adult height. My girlfriend misbehaves. Instruct your girlfriend to return to her domicile at once.

(CHORUS)

VERSE 2 (Ludacris)

Now your girl might be sick but my girl sicker. She rides that dick and she handles her liquor. She'll knock a bitch out and fight, comin' out swingin' like Tiger Woods' wife. Yeah, she can get a lil' hasty. Chicks better cover up their chests like pasties. Couple girlfriends and they all a lil' crazy, comin' down the street like a parade, Macy's. I fill her up, balloons! Test her and guns get drawn like cartoons. Doh! But I ain't talk 'bout Homer, chick so bad the whole crew wanna bone her!

It's possible that your girlfriend is diseased, but my girlfriend has an even graver disease. She straddles my phallus while we fornicate and imbibes without behaving as if she were intoxicated. She physically assaults unpleasant women, not unlike the way in which Elin Nordegren attacked her husband, golfer Tiger Woods, after realizing he had been unfaithful in their marriage. My girlfriend makes impulsive decisions, so other women should protect their breasts. My girlfriend's friends have mental problems and storm down the street in a manner reminiscent of the way popular floats proceed through New York during the annual Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I, in some way, complete a need in her; I'm not sure if it's a financial, emotional or sexual need, but it resembles the way in which water or air fills up a balloon. When people taunt her, she pulls out a gun, and I am not referring to one of the main characters on a popular long-running cartoon series on Fox. My girlfriend misbehaves so much that all my friends want to have sex with her.

(CHORUS)

VERSE 3 (Nicki Minaj)

Now all these bitches wanna try and be my bestie, but I take a left and leave 'em hangin' like a testi. Trash talk to 'em, then I put 'em in a Hefty! Runnin' down the court, I'm dunkin' on them - Lisa Leslie. It's goin' down, basement, Friday the 13th, guess who's playin' Jason? Tuck yourself in, you better hold on to ya teddy, It's Nightmare on Elm Street and guess who's playin' Freddy! Chef cookin' for me. They say my shoe came crazy, the mental asylum lookin' for me. You a rookie to me, I'm in that wam bam purple Lamb', damn, bitch, been a fan.

Many unpleasant women want to be my close friend, but I avoid them, insult them and then stuff their dead bodies in a garbage bag. I also wear them out and defeat them, not unlike the way WNBA basketball star Lisa Leslie used to do during a game. A confrontation is likely to happen between us. Like the character Jason in the "Friday the 13th" series of films, I am going to scare and perhaps murder people. This might make you so nervous that you search for childlike comforts, such as a stuffed animal. Nevertheless, I am going to frighten and perhaps murder people, like the character Freddy in the "Nightmare on Elm Street" series. Food is being prepared for me by a professional. Sources say my footwear arrived with psychological problems, and the director of a facility that houses and treats the mentally ill is seeking my return. I consider you a novice, and I'm inside an impressive violet Lamorghini. You are unpleasant.

(CHORUS)

OUTRO (Ludacris)

And when we all alone I might just tip her. She slides down da pole like a certified stripper. (Repeat)

When my girlfriend and I are in private, it's possible that I will give her cash because she performs exotic dances for me as if doing so were her full-time occupation.