London Bridge -- Fergie

"London Bridge," by Fergie

Released: 2006

Song sentiment: I own some unstable real estate overseas, and I love to party.

Original lyrics in blue
Analyzed lyrics in black

INTRO

Oh shit (oh shit). Oh shit (oh shit). Oh shit (oh shit). Are you ready for this? Oh shit (oh shit). Ohhhhh. It’s me, Fergie. The Pimp! Paulo! Fergie Ferg, what's up, baby?

Jeepers!! Are you prepared? I am the woman from Black Eyed Peas. The man who manages prostitutes! Some random guy! How are you, Fergie?

VERSE 1

When I come to the club, step aside. Part the seas, don’t be havin' me in the line. V.I.P., ‘cause you know I gotta shine. I’m Fergie Ferg, and me love you long time. All my girls get down on the floor, back to back, drop it down real low. I’m such a lady, but I’m dancing like a ho, ‘cause you know I don’t give a fuck, so here we go!

The crowd standing in my way at the discotheque should split in half and create a path for me because I am a very important person with oily skin, and I am vaguely racist toward Asians. My female friends squat and don't face each other while I, despite my good breeding, gyrate like a harlot. The consequences or implications of this are of no concern to me, so let's simply ignore them.

CHORUS

How come everytime you come around, my London, London bridge, wanna go down like, London, London, London, wanna go down like, London, London, London, we goin’ down like… (Repeat)

Why do your visits make a structure providing passage over the River Thames -- which I own -- desire its own collapse and, subsequently, prompt us to collapse?

VERSE 2

Now as the drinks start pouring, and my speech start slurring, everybody start looking real good. The Grey Goose got your girl feeling loose. Now I’m wishin’ that I didn’t wear these shoes. (I hate heels) It’s like everytime I get up on a dude, paparazzi put my business in the news. And I’m like, "Get up out my face!" (oh shit) before I turn around and spray your ass with mace. (oh shit). My lips make you wanna have a taste. (oh shit) You got that? I got the bass.

Alcohol, particularly vodka, inhibits my ability to enunciate, makes others appear more attractive and enhances my desire for both sex and barefootedness. Seemingly, each time I engage in public displays of affection with men, freelance journalists whose job is to photograph public displays of affection do their job; then, those who hired those photographers do their job and publish the photographs. This is an outrage. So I order them to leave, then I threaten to use tear gas on their buttocks, then I make kissy faces at them, and then I reveal that I have a guitar.

(CHORUS)

BRIDGE

Me like a bullet type, you know they comin' right. Fergie love em' long time. My girls support right? (Repeat)

I am similar to ammunition for which you are prepared, and, again, I am vaguely racist toward Asians.

VERSE 3

When I come to the club, step aside. Pop the seats, don’t be hatin' me in the line. V.I.P., ‘cause you know I gotta shine. I’m Fergie Ferg, give me love you long time. All my girls get down on the floor. Back to back, drop it down real low. I’m such a lady, but I’m dancing like a ho, ‘Cause you know I don’t give a fuck, so here we go!

Review my earlier observations about the discotheque, and also take a needle and make the inflatable chairs explode without disliking me whilst in the queue.

(CHORUS)